Warning: Non-factual jokes in […] and in Blue
NOT ENOUGH TIME TO READ THE WHOLE STORY? NO PROBLEM. MOST IMPORTANT EXCERPTS ARE PLACED AS GIF CAPTION
If you’re looking for something specific, text or call me. Otherwise, it looks a little suspicious, and I can tell when you’ve rifled through my things.
This is toxic coworker behavior: If a team member does well on a project, don’t claim their accomplishment as your own. Instead, celebrate with them. This creates positive energy and a better vibe in the workplace.
Sometimes you need to stop talking and give your colleagues a chance to speak. Contrary to your belief, you’re not always right. Start by honing these listening skills.
I beg you: Don’t walk in my room and belch (or worse). Sure, I can excuse the occasional bodily noise. But if you’re doing it almost every time you’re in my office, it’s annoying. Say, ‘Excuse me for a minute,’ and walk out!
Your coworkers are counting on you to finish the job, so don’t let them down.
If I’m trying to have a conversation with you, please be respectful and put your phone down for a few minutes so you can listen to me.
If you’re going to order food from the new restaurant down the street, ask your team if they want to participate. And make sure you pay for what you ordered; there’s seemingly always someone who tries to get out of paying for their portion of the bill.
Wash your dirty dishes. Don’t leave them in the sink for someone else to do for you. We’ve all got a lot on our plates, so be a team player and share in the responsibilities for maintaining the common areas.
If you’re going to be bring your dog to work, please make sure they’re well behaved and won’t be disruptive. (The same kind of goes for your kids.)
I don’t tell you how to do your job; don’t tell me how to do mine. Also, if I decline your offer to help me, it’s usually because I’ll end up having to redo everything. If I want your help, I’ll ask for it.