REAL NEWS FROM REPUTABLE NEWS SITES. ONLY KEY NEWS EXCERPTS ADDED AS GIF CAPTION FOR PEOPLE ON THE GO. GIFS & CAPTIONS BY COMEDIAN WRITERS.

GOP SENATOR: DON'T EXPECT TRUMP TO 'HAVE YOUR BACK' ON HEALTHCARE VOTE
IN TRUMP ERA, MENTAL HEALTH EXPERTS ARE RETHINKING GOLDWATER RULE
SENATE LEADERS TRY TO APPEASE MEMBERS AS SUPPORT FOR HEALTH BILL SLIPS

SANDERS TRIES TO SWAY GOP COLLEAGUE ON OBAMACARE REPEAL
JOHNNY DEPP APOLOGIZES FOR JOKING ABOUT TRUMP ASSASSINATION: 'I INTENDED NO MALICE'
HOW TRUMP’S DUBIOUS CLAIMS MAKE THE ENTIRE GOVERNMENT REACT

WOMAN TOLD TO COVER UP AFTER WEARING "INAPPROPRIATE" SWIMSUIT
MCENROE: SERENA WOULD BE RANKED 'LIKE 700' IF SHE PLAYED VS. MEN
THIS HIGH SCHOOL GIRL'S SHOULDERS SHOULDN’T BE A DISTRACTION

A TEACHER'S DECISION TO BE 'VISIBLY QUEER' IN HIS PHOTO WITH PRES. TRUMP
'Angels' surround Pulse nightclub, a year after massacre
[ANTI-LGBT RANTER]Kardashian Threatens Caitlyn: 'Talk Bad About My Mom, I Come For You'

WHAT THE SUPREME COURT’S TRAVEL BAN RULING MEANS
COLLEGE PROFESSOR FIRED FOLLOWING APPEARANCE ON FOX NEWS WHERE SHE DEFENDED A BLACK LIVES MATTER PARTY
A BLACK OFF-DUTY COP TRIED TO HELP STOP A CRIME. ANOTHER OFFICER SHOT HIM.

GOP SENATOR: DON'T EXPECT TRUMP TO 'HAVE YOUR BACK' ON HEALTHCARE VOTE
IN TRUMP ERA, MENTAL HEALTH EXPERTS ARE RETHINKING GOLDWATER RULE
SENATE LEADERS TRY TO APPEASE MEMBERS AS SUPPORT FOR HEALTH BILL SLIPS

BURGER KING AND POPEYES JUST MADE THE SAME, HUGE CHANGE
IN TRUMP ERA, MENTAL HEALTH EXPERTS ARE RETHINKING GOLDWATER RULE
PEOPLE ARE SWOONING OVER THIS RESURFACED 1865 DATING AD WHERE A MAN IS TRYING TO FIND A WIFE

BURGER KING AND POPEYES JUST MADE THE SAME, HUGE CHANGE
11 FOODS YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY AT COSTCO
MCDONALD'S IN SAUDI ARABIA JUST SWORE ALLEGIANCE TO THE NEW CROWN PRINCE

JOHNNY DEPP APOLOGIZES FOR JOKING ABOUT TRUMP ASSASSINATION: 'I INTENDED NO MALICE'
CHARLIE SHEEN SUED (AGAIN) FOR EXPOSING EX-GIRLFRIEND TO HIV
KATY PERRY MAKES RIAA HISTORY AS ‘ROAR’ GOES ‘DIAMOND’

9 Things You Didn't Know About America's First Serial Killer, H.H. Holmes
Reporter arrested after repeatedly questioning Health secretary
‘Go and kill yourself,’ a Louisiana teacher told an 11-year-old student, authorities say

THIS HIGH SCHOOL GIRL'S SHOULDERS SHOULDN’T BE A DISTRACTION
A TEACHER'S DECISION TO BE 'VISIBLY QUEER' IN HIS PHOTO WITH PRES. TRUMP
Fox Anchor Ainsley Earhardt Caused a Stir by Wearing Pants on Air

MCENROE: SERENA WOULD BE RANKED 'LIKE 700' IF SHE PLAYED VS. MEN
[RACIST-RANTER]What's next for Tiger Woods following his DUI arrest?
[ANTI-LGBT RANTER]Margaret Court says tennis is 'full of lesbians'

DEATH OF AMERICAN DETAINED IN NORTH KOREA BAFFLES EXPERTS
McDonald's staff reveal what you should NEVER order from the fast food restaurant
Billionaires are stockpiling land that could be used in the apocalypse — here's where they're going

PROFESSOR: OTTO WARMBIER GOT ‘WHAT HE DESERVED’
AMERICAN AID WORKER RUNS THROUGH ISIS GUNFIRE TO SAVE LITTLE GIRL
STUDY: YOUNG AMERICAN WOMEN FACING OVERALL DEMISE IN WELL-BEING

KANSAS JURY AWARDS $218M TO FARMERS IN SYNGENTA GMO SUIT
5 MINDSETS TO GIVE UP IF YOU WANT TO GET RICH
IN THIS PART OF THE MIDWEST, THE PROBLEM ISN'T CHINA. IT'S TOO MANY JOBS.

11 FOODS YOU SHOULD NEVER BUY AT COSTCO
PEOPLE ARE SWOONING OVER THIS RESURFACED 1865 DATING AD WHERE A MAN IS TRYING TO FIND A WIFE
10 WEDDING TRENDS THAT NEED TO GO AWAY RIGHT NOW

IN THIS PART OF THE MIDWEST, THE PROBLEM ISN'T CHINA. IT'S TOO MANY JOBS.
[RACIST RANTER] U.S. military veterans deported to Mexico say they want to come back home
House OKs bill making nude photo sharing in military a crime

PROFESSOR: OTTO WARMBIER GOT ‘WHAT HE DESERVED’
Scorpion Spotted on United Flight For Second Time in a Month
This Is The One Word You Should Use To Defuse Any Argument With Your Partner

WOMAN TOLD TO COVER UP AFTER WEARING "INAPPROPRIATE" SWIMSUIT
A BLACK OFF-DUTY COP TRIED TO HELP STOP A CRIME. ANOTHER OFFICER SHOT HIM.
SENATE LEADERS TRY TO APPEASE MEMBERS AS SUPPORT FOR HEALTH BILL SLIPS

MARCO RUBIO'S AWKWARD 'HUG' WITH IVANKA TRUMP LOOKS WORSE
The steps Prince Harry has to take in order to propose to Meghan Markle
North West Just Revolutionized Time Outs

10 WEDDING TRENDS THAT NEED TO GO AWAY RIGHT NOW
9 Things Red Lobster Employees Want You To Know Before You Eat There
The 1 Thing You Should Be Spending Money on to Be Happy

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