REAL NEWS FROM REPUTABLE NEWS SITES. ONLY KEY NEWS EXCERPTS ADDED AS GIF CAPTION FOR PEOPLE ON THE GO. GIFS & CAPTIONS BY COMEDIAN WRITERS.

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END — JUST PROBABLY NOT SATURDAY. 11 STUFF THAT CAN END THE WORLD
10 ONLINE DATING TERMS YOU NEED TO KNOW NOW
50 DAILY HABITS OF NATURALLY THIN PEOPLE [PART 1]

OBAMA CAMPUS ASSAULT GUIDANCE GETS SCRAPPED UNDER TRUMP
WH PRESS SECRETARY: 'I WOULD CERTAINLY NOT READ ANYTHING INTO' KELLY PHOTO
WINNERS AND LOSERS IN GOP'S LAST-DITCH HEALTH OVERHAUL

HERE'S WHY JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AND 4 OTHER STARS SKIPPED OUT ON THIS YEAR'S EMMYS
AMID CHEATING CLAIMS, KEVIN HART'S EX CLAIMS HE WAS WITH CURRENT WIFE WHILE STILL MARRIED TO HER
JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S MOTHER! EARNS RARE F CINEMASCORE

20 FOODS AND DRINKS YOU DIDN’T KNOW HAD CAFFEINE [PART 2]
39 FOOD MISTAKES YOU'RE MAKING EVERY DAY [PART 2]
I CUT THIS OUT OF MY DIET TO LOSE WEIGHT AND, NO, IT'S NOT CARBS

ANTIFA: GUARDIANS AGAINST FASCISM OR LAWLESS THRILL-SEEKERS?
THE INTERNET HAS PLENTY TO SAY ABOUT THESE BEACH PHOTOS OF KATIE HOLMES AND JAMIE FOXX
A FOX NEWS HOST ATTACKS TRUMP, AND SOME VIEWERS BRISTLE

KIM JONG UN CALLED PRESIDENT TRUMP A 'DOTARD.' WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
TRUMP USING CAMPAIGN, RNC FUNDS TO PAY LEGAL BILLS FROM RUSSIA PROBE -SOURCES
OBAMA GOES FROM WHITE HOUSE TO WALL STREET IN LESS THAN A YEAR

RUSSIA PROBE UNEARTHS ATTEMPTED MEETING BETWEEN TRUMP CAMPAIGN AND PUTIN: REPORT
REPUBLICANS JUST QUIETLY GOT SOME VERY GOOD SUPREME COURT NEWS
MORE DEMS SIGN ONTO BILL TO IMPEACH TRUMP

FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR SAYS RAPE ALLEGATION BLACKLISTED HER
MAYWEATHER DEFENDS TRUMP'S CRUDE COMMENTS ABOUT WOMEN
DNA CONFIRMS VIKING REMAINS FOUND IN SWEDEN ARE FEMALE

JUSTICE DEPT. SIDES WITH BAKER WHO DENIED GAY COUPLE A WEDDING CAKE
AARON CARTER COMES OUT AS BISEXUAL
MY HUSBAND HAS A BOYFRIEND. HERE’S WHAT OUR LIFE IS LIKE.

DNA CONFIRMS VIKING REMAINS FOUND IN SWEDEN ARE FEMALE
APPEALS COURT LIMITS TRUMP TRAVEL BAN AND ALLOWS MORE REFUGEES
VIGILS ACROSS U.S.: 'WE WILL NOT TOLERATE RACISM'

50 DAILY HABITS OF NATURALLY THIN PEOPLE [PART 1]
SANDERS FIRES BACK AT TRUMP: HEALTH CARE FOR EVERYONE 'IS NOT A CURSE'
50 THINGS YOUR DOCTOR WISHES YOU KNEW ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT [PART 3]

40 THINGS WE LEARNED IN WEEK 2
MAYWEATHER DEFENDS TRUMP'S CRUDE COMMENTS ABOUT WOMEN
THE FLOYD MAYWEATHER-CONOR McGREGOR FIGHT WASN'T A FARCE.

WINNERS AND LOSERS IN GOP'S LAST-DITCH HEALTH OVERHAUL
ANTIFA: GUARDIANS AGAINST FASCISM OR LAWLESS THRILL-SEEKERS?
SANDERS FIRES BACK AT TRUMP: HEALTH CARE FOR EVERYONE 'IS NOT A CURSE'

OBAMA GOES FROM WHITE HOUSE TO WALL STREET IN LESS THAN A YEAR
TRUMP’S DIVISIVE PRESIDENCY RESHAPES A KEY PART OF HIS PRIVATE BUSINESS
15 ITEMS TO AVOID AT WALMART

15 ITEMS TO AVOID AT WALMART
THINGS ONLY PEOPLE IN BIG CITIES SAY [PART 2]
THINGS ONLY PEOPLE IN BIG CITIES SAY [PART 1]

SANDERS FIRES BACK AT TRUMP: HEALTH CARE FOR EVERYONE 'IS NOT A CURSE'
‘IF THEY DEPORT ALL OF US, WHO WILL REBUILD?’ UNDOCUMENTED WORKERS COULD BE KEY TO TEXAS RECOVERY.
FEDERAL JUDGE BLOCKS TEXAS BAN ON SANCTUARY CITIES IN BLOW FOR TRUMP

OBAMA CAMPUS ASSAULT GUIDANCE GETS SCRAPPED UNDER TRUMP
TRUMP USING CAMPAIGN, RNC FUNDS TO PAY LEGAL BILLS FROM RUSSIA PROBE -SOURCES
THIS IS GLOBAL TRUMPISM

KATIE HOLMES AND JAMIE FOXX: THE TRUTH ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ENJOYS FOUR COCKTAILS EVERY DAY
PRINCE GEORGE HAS AN ADORABLE NICKNAME FOR THE QUEEN AND OUR HEARTS HAVE MELTED

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END — JUST PROBABLY NOT SATURDAY. 11 STUFF THAT CAN END THE WORLD
N.H. AUTHORITIES IDENTIFY MYSTERIOUS SERIAL KILLER
FIREFIGHTERS ARE WARNING PEOPLE TO NEVER LEAVE BOTTLED WATER IN YOUR CAR

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